so like, basically

i’m only saying this once

if you’re going to hate me because i think i’m funny, at least have more of an interest in “comedy” than just the following reasons:

-you enjoy television shows that make you laugh (who fucking 

doesn’t?)

-you saw patton at bonnaroo

-you follow todd barry on twitter

-you saw brian posehn at sxsw

-you DVR adult swim

-you definitely have an opinion about “the hangover”

because otherwise, all you’ve got is that you’re a dude, and you believe that funniness is an inherently male quality. &yes, you are right: this is another example of how unfunny i am because i give a shit about being a woman and the struggle that comes with it, but also because i’m whining now and you’re not a fucking frat guy, you’re not a meathead, you have a girlfriend who you respect who also thinks you are totally super funny and she ALSO agrees with you that i am annoying now! 

eat a dick. yes, i went to second city. yes, i have a very significant interest in “comedy”. no, i am not currently doing standup (i live IN HOUSTON FUCKING TEXAS AND WHO CARES AND ALSO GROSS). yes, some people think i’m funny. no, you don’t have to. but not because i’m female and it obviously threatens and emasculates you that i appear to wield authority over something you consider to be your birthright. 

if you’re going to think i’m not funny, think it because all i ever talk about is farts and boners. don’t do it cos i’m a girl. (&be honest with yourself, douchetits. you know you’ve enjoyed a good fart &boner joke every now and again.)